The Momo Diaries
by Meeoko
Summary: Ever wondered what the impartial party thinks about the Bending War? Momo considers Air Temple living and wonders exactly why the humans seem to love 'The Universal People Game' so much. All he wants to do is eat berries and play 'Fly and Seek! One shot.


**The Momo Diaries**

**Meeoko**

**Summary : Ever wondered what the impartial party thinks about the war? Momo considers Air Temple living and wonders exactly why the humans seem to love 'The Universal People Game' so much. All he wants to do is eat berries and play 'Fly and Seek'!**

**Author's Note's : Haha, sorry guys, but this little idea has been in my head for ages and I just had to get it down onto paper (or technically, Internet). Just something to keep you busy whilst I work on my other fics. Oh and by the way, I have made Momo super intelligent in this fiction. Because, for all we know - Momo might be the Monkey-Lemur equivilent of Einstein!**

* * *

_The people are throwing rocks and yellow hot stuff around again, playing that strange game. I don't really see what the appeal is. I mean, the game was kinda fun at first, but it seems like all they seem to do is throw stuff at each other. All day every day. It seems like every other human they meet seems to do the same as well. I have dubbed it The Universal People Game. It seems a fitting title._

_Is it just some widely popular game that ALL the people like to play or is there something I'm missing?_

_My big furry friend seems to have dropped off. I don't know how he can sleep so much! Why doesn't he just fly around with me, enjoying the air and catching bugs? Even grooming is more fun than just sleeping all day long! Or maybe he could go and bother the people. He seems to like the angry, red human with the funny colours on his face. _

_I don't think I like him very much. He never feeds me like the other people, talks to me, or even pet me. I mean, honestly - a good scratch behind the ear every now and then doesn't go amiss._

_But he does seem to enjoy being loud and waving his arms around. Maybe it's just another part of the Universal People Game. He seems to be very good at it, though I still don't like to get close to the yellow hot stuff._

_Humans are a strange bunch.  
I certainly wasn't expecting to be carted around the world to constantly play the Universal People Game when I went out for my daily forage at the Southern Air Temple. I mean, I know that I didn't exactly have an incredible, life changing future set up for myself, or anything. I hadn't really thought all that much about it. But sometimes, I miss my old way of life. I was just happy to forage and catch bugs._

_I remember it like it was yesterday. The human without any fur on his head and the pointy blue thing - my leader, the Furless One.  
Wait. Didn't he chase me? And the blue human who falls over a lot. He chased me too._

_Wait. Now I remember – he was trying to eat me!_

_Thank the Lemur that the Furless One saved me! It seems like he is the only one around here who doesn't seem to swat at me like a common Horse-Fly. I, after all, am a proud (and if I may say so, impressive) Lemur-Monkey. I certainly am NOT a common Horse-Fly!_

_The pretty blue human is playing the Universal People Game with the red, angry one again. Those two seem to love playing the game together, even more than my friend, the Furless One, who seems to be better at it than anyone else! Is it part of the game to scowl and yell? Or is that just to earn you bonus points? Either way, they both seem to be doing an excellent job._

_I wonder how the humans are supposed to win the game. I wonder if they even CAN. I hope they win it soon. _

_T__he short, dusty green human with the black bush on her head is making quite a lot of noise throwing her rocks around, and it's starting to give me a headache. I think that she's practicing with my friend, the Furless One. They seem to enjoy playing the game too, except they don't get as many bonus points, because they aren't scowling or yelling. It seems the nice blue human and the angry red one are winning so far..._

_Sometimes I wonder if the dusty, green human knows where I am. I can see that she is blind. But she moves simply as if she knew not of her predicament and cared even less about anything else. I met a Badger-Mole like her once. Insufferable chap, that one! Damn near brought a cavern down on my head – AND onto the Furless One! The sheer cheek! _

_The clumsy, blue human who loves meat so much just threw an apple at me!_

_I mean, come on! If he's going to just leave the berries lying around like that out in the open, how can he expect it to be kept safe? I was simply keeping watch over the berries for him until he returned and how does he repay me? By throwing apples at me!  
Perhaps I WILL eat his damn berries, just to spite him. It is immensely enjoyable to watch him work himself up over nothing. Beside's, I haven't eaten a single bug today! I need to eat sometime too, you know!_

_I can see him shaking his fist at me, though I can't understand a single thing that he says. Honestly, these humans should learn to speak proper Lemur-Monkey! The Furless one often comes close. I had a very pleasant conversation with him once, though I think that was due to the lack of sleep he had been getting. What was it he had been saying?_

"_How goes the snake lying underneath my shoe?"_

_At first, I just thought that his grasp of my language wasn't particularly fluent, but then I realised that he must have been speaking a proverb of great knowledge. The other humans often look upon him as if he possesses some great wisdom. And I do so love talking about Philosophy! _

"_Lying in wait until its chance is met." I replied, perfectly satisfied with my answer. I think that he was nervous about competing in an important, up-coming event that involved the Universal People Game. Surely, he was asking for my advice on tactics or looking for a console?_

"_Does my ear smell toward the water with the spade and cabbages?" He replied._

_This next proverb, however, eluded me. Indeed, the Furless One was wise. I could find no answer, no even descipher it. Before he was led away by the other humans, I simply replied._

"_Touché, my friend."_

_But he hasn't spoken to me since. Perhaps humans can only hold a decent conversation when they're exhausted?_

_Oh, Lemurs! Now the clumsy human is trying to climb up into my tree. Why does he keep shaking his fists at me and making so much noise? I would happily share my spoils with him, if only he were to ask politely. But if he insists on trying to barge into my tree whilst yelling at me and stamping on the floor, then I'm just going to make things harder for him._

_I wonder why he is trying to rip his fur out. It seems like he's missing half of it anyway. Strange, clumsy human. Now you shan't have any of your berries back!_

_Oh, how I dislike the clumsy, blue human. He has often acted as a rival towards me, though I posed no immediate threat to him. I cannot understand it! But often, I retaliate to his delinquent behaviour with my own display of childish revenge. And I am afraid to say that I rather enjoy doing it._

_I did bond with him briefly once, in the desert. Perhaps it was the stifling heat or the strange juices we had drank from the pointy flower, but I was suddenly overcome with a burst of energy and wonferul, bright shining colours. There were giant bugs everywhere and what appeared to be a large mushroom. The other humans scoffed at my fun, except for the clumsy human, who seemed to share my delight. For a while, we lavished in our newfound wonderland, but it soon pased and from then on, the rivalry with the blue oaf had simply continued._

_--_

_I spent the remainder of the morning exploring the newest regions of the Western Air Temple. It certainly feels good to be back in familiar territory again! Perhaps I shall find a lady friend to accompany me for the evening, if luck is with me._

_It certainly would be nice to meet somebody new. As fond as I am of my strange hoard of humans, it does tend to get lonely. Many of them cannot, or simply will not speak to me. Their grasp on the Lemur-Monkey language simply is not developed enough yet. _

_And my dear furry friend, Appa, though he offers perfectly pleasant conversation and companionship, he often spends most of his time sleeping or eating. Needless to say, when he IS awake, it is rather difficult trying to play Fly and Seek with a three ton Bison. It posed almost no challenge at all! I found him within the first five minutes, trying feebly to hide his giant form behind a single tree._

_So indeed, some company would be appreciated._

_What on earth has happened to the angry, colourful human? He's simply been sat in the same position for almost two hours now. Is he dead? Do humans hibernate? Perhaps I should go and inspect further. I think I may have to alert the Furless One. It simply would not do if one of his team-mates were to die before the Universal People Game has ended._

_Great Lemurs! What rudeness! I simply went a little closer to the angry red human to see if he was alright. All I did was jump onto his chest and poke him in the nose! He didn't have to flail about so much! And throwing me into the fountain was most definitely uncalled for! My actions were in his best interests. Humans! I don't think that I shall ever understand them._

_I'm going to cheer myself up by foraging around in his bag. I have calmed down now and actually feel rather guilty for disturbing the red humans hibernation cycle. I think I shall do something nice for him. _

_Perhaps I should leave something inside his pack for him as a present? To apologise for my earlier behaviour? But what do humans like?_

_--_

_I have placed my peace offering inside the angry human's pack. I am certain that he will forgive me once he's see's the nice, fat fish that I found him. I made certain that it was already dead when I found it – it has been decomposing for at least two days. I am sure that the red human will love it._

_I certainly would._

_Oh, how sweet! The angry human has discovered my present. He is displaying his usual in-game behaviour, scowling and yelling as he randomly shoots out the yellow hotness.  
I know that he likes his gift. But as he can't speak Lemur-Monkey, I am sure that he is trying to thank me by using his display of aggressive emotions. It seems to earn the people bonus points whenever they play their game and I am sure that by showing me these actions, he is telling me that** I** have earned bonus points. _

_Splendid! He forgives me!_

_The clumsy blue human, however, still seems to be displaying aggressive behaviour towards me. I would take his ranting and scowling to be a similar apology, but I know that the clumsy human doesn't play the Universal People Game like the others. He simply throws twirly sticks around._

_So, I take it to mean that he is mocking me. What else would his backwards actions possibly mean?_

_Oh, your challenge has been accepted, clumsy blue human. I am tired of you constantly berating me and soon, I shall find a fitting revenge._

_--_

_I visited the clumsy human's pack before sun down to give him his own little present. This is one present, however, that I am certain he shall not appreciate._

_Haha – victory is mine! Round One to me, clumsy human. Round One to me._

**_THE END_**


End file.
